she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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