too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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