Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
