Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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