Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
