I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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