we have officially lost it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
