Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
