I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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