My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
