You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
