I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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