somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
