You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You did what with his pubic hair?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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