So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize