my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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