How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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