Its about making memories worth repressing
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
