What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
