i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
