I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
