No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
