You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
