i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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