This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
