Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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