You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I have post one night stand depression
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
