HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
