Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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