I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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