I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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