Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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