I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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