Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
