Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
