theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
