I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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