OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
