Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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