I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
