Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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