If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
