he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
