I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
