i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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