Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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