Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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