She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
