before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
