so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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