Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
