I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize