honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
someone owes me an orgasm
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
