goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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