bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
