oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
