ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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