soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
