I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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