i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize