I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
