It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
