weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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