He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
