i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
