apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
