I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He felt like a one man threesome
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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